Love Potion Number 9
by fightingcomet
Summary: An old woman offers Sanji the chance to have anyone he wants! But what will he do when the townspeople get out of control! Oneshot, Sanjicentric. Enjoy!


Love Potion Number 9

A One Piece Sanji-centric one-shot by fightingcomet

Written 6/19/06  
Superficial edits done 8/13/10 (added line breaks)

Inspiration: The idea popped into my head as I was falling asleep. I wrote the fic at work the next day (like I had anything better to do =D)…But I didn't mean for it to be so much like the song- I just wanted the title to be based off of it…funny how these things work out. ^^;;

Summary: An old woman offers Sanji the chance to have anyone he wants! But what will he do when the townspeople get out of control?

Disclaimer: I don't own the song "Love Potion No. 9" for which this fic is named after. I also had a hell of a time trying to find it on the internet. _ Also, One Piece is not mine. Do not sue. You wouldn't get much, considering I haven't even been paid yet…vv;;

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"Will you be okay picking up everything by yourself?" Nami asked, handing Sanji the list of supplies they needed. "Chopper could go with you."

Sanji shook his head, looking down at the list. "It's not that much." He looked at Nami and grinned. "When I get back I'll make you something delectable, Nami-swan~!" Hearts filled the air as he stroked her hand, his heart fluttering at the touch. _Such silky skin~!_

"No thanks…" She replied with a sweat, gently loosening his grip on her hand. She pushed him toward the door. "You should probably get going."

"I'll be back soon, my beautiful Nami-swan~!" He blew her a kiss and left for town with a wave, list in hand.

Sanji walked out of the final store, his arms laden with bags. He didn't realize that _this_ much stuff was on the list. He sighed and began back toward the ship.

"You look like a suave young man…surely someone as handsome as yourself has _no_ trouble getting a date…"

Sanji stopped and turned to see who had spoken. An aged woman sat in a rocking chair beside a dark curtain, smoking a pipe leisurely. Her hands were adorned with golden bracelets and rings, and her clothes looked like that of a gypsy, bright colors and exotic fabrics flowing around her small frame. Her eyes were deep-set in a face wrinkled from years of experience. She smiled, the wrinkles around her mouth emphasized, and took a long drag from her pipe. She exhaled the smoke through her nostrils before speaking again.

"…Or maybe you're just another lonely soul, trying to find your mate…" She stood up, the fabric of her robes swirling around her feet. She motioned to the curtain.

"If you're the latter, then please, follow me."

The old woman swept the curtain to the side and disappeared behind it, her bangles jingling softly.

Sanji watched her go, his curiosity conflicting with his common sense.

_Should I follow her…or return to the ship?_

He took a deep breath as his curiosity carried him past the curtain and into the room behind it.

The room was dimly lit by candles contained in a few lamps. The walls were covered by shelves, and the shelves covered by bottles of various sizes. Each bottle contained a liquid, the colors as vivid as a peacock's feathers.

Sanji set his bags at the entrance. The old woman had her back to him, and was busily filling bottles with the colorful liquids. Sanji looked around, dumbfounded.

"What is all this?"

"This," she said without turning around, "is my shop." She filled the last bottle and turned around, examining Sanji with dark eyes. "What kind do you want?"

_What is this old hag talking about?_ Sanji wondered. "…What kind of _what_, may I ask?"

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Potions, of course." She went to the closest shelf and began pointing out the different bottled liquids.

She pointed to a deep red one. "This will make the drinker infatuated with the first person they talk to." She motioned to a murky green one on the next shelf. "Drink this and great fortune will come your way." She moved on to potion after potion, describing the effects of each. Sanji waited patiently until the old woman stooped her banter and turned to him expectantly.

"Which do you choose?"

Sanji hesitated, then spoke carefully. "…Do you have any love potions?"

The old woman's cracked face split into a wide grin that sent chills up Sanji's spine.

"I think I have just what you want. All I need is an essence of you." She drew near, and Sanji involuntarily took a step back.

"An essence of- OW!" The old woman backed away quickly, a few of Sanji's golden hairs clutched in her bony hand. Sanji rubbed the sore (_Now probably bald_, he thought, annoyed) spot and watched as she began mixing the potion. She worked quickly, crushing the hairs into a powder and mixing it with fragrances. She finished a minute later, presenting Sanji with a perfume bottle filled with a golden liquid.

"One spray on whoever you want and they'll fall in love with you. But be careful," she warned. "For the potion is quite potent and will wash off with water." She nodded for him to take it, but Sanji shook his head.

"I can't take that- I don't have the money to pay you."

The old woman thought for a moment, then glanced at the food-filled bags Sanji had put down earlier. "Why don't you make me a meal for payment?"

Sanji blinked, then grinned, rolling up his sleeves. "That I can do."

Sanji walked out of the old woman's shop after cooking her a delicious meal and cleaning the dishes. He looked at the potion in his hands. She had told him a little more about it as she ate.

"_The effects are instantaneous." She said, stuffing her mouth with meat. "Don't use more than one spray on a person at a time…this is a very powerful potion." She held up her rice bowl. "More rice, if you will!"_

Sanji was halfway to the port when he passed a group of chattering girls. _Maybe I should test it out,_ Sanji thought, approaching the three girls.

"Such beautiful ladies~! How are you gorgeous girls doing on this fine day?" He kissed each of their hands, turning on the charm. "My name is Sanji, but you may call me Prince Charming!" The girls giggled and blushed. Sanji presented the potion bottle with a flourish.

"A fragrant perfume, suited only for beautiful ladies such as yourselves."

They giggled and held out their wrists. _Truth time_, he thought, spraying the fragrant concoction on their skin. They became still and quiet as soon as the potion touched them.

"…Ladies?" Sanji shifted nervously.

"Oh, Sanji-kun!" The girls latched onto him, squealing and blushing.

"Ladies, please! There's enough of me to go around!" Sanji's yells were in vain, however- the girls began to fight over him, hitting each other, scratching, and pulling hair.

Their yells soon drew a crowd as they continued to fight over Sanji. Men, women, and children pointed and wondered what was going on. Sanji struggled to get them off, but to no avail. As the girls' fight grew more intense, the potion was smacked out of Sanji's hand. His eyes widened as the bottle hit the ground and smashed, contents splattering on many of the onlookers.

…Shit.

"Oh, Sanji-kun! We love you!" The crowd chorused, advancing with arms wide open.

"Dammit!" Sanji yelled, knocking the girls off of himself and sprinting away, bags in tow and everyone who had been hit by the potion in hot pursuit.

As Sanji ran toward the ship, the Straw Hat crew stood on deck watching him sprint closer.

"Why's he running?" Chopper asked, looking at Usopp. "Well," Usopp began, "When the people of this town see newcomers, they turn into ravenous man-eaters, chasing their food down until-" "He's lying!" Zoro yelled.

Nami pointed to the mob behind Sanji. "Look at all those people chasing him!"

"Ahhhhhh! Sanji's gonna be eaten!" Chopper yelled, running wildly in circles.

"No he's not!" Zoro yelled back. Chopper ignored him and continued to run in circles.

Nami shrieked. "Oh, no! Sanji!" Her yell brought everyone's attention back to the cook. A group of townspeople tackled him to the ground, the bags falling off his arms, their contents spilling everywhere.

"Oh no!" Luffy cried. "Not the food!" He and Zoro jumped over the side of the ship to help Sanji (and to protect his precious food, in Luffy's case). Nami called after them. "Don't hurt the townspeople! Luffy grinned and brought back his arm.

"GOMU GOMU NO GATLING GUN!"

Luffy's attack knocked the townspeople far enough away that Sanji and Zoro were able to collect all the spilled supplies and get back on the ship. Nami called out to Usopp, "Hurry up and get us out of here!"

Luffy rocketed onto the boat just as it pulled away. The crowd had already recovered from Luffy's attack and followed them into the water, stopping soon after when the potion had washed away.

"What are we doing out here?" They asked one another, confused. No one knew… They climbed out of the water and went back to town, with no memories of what had just transpired.

The old woman sat in her chair back in town, watching as the townspeople returned. She took a drag on her pipe and chuckled. _I just couldn't resist_, she thought as she rocked in her chair, smiling. _That was too much fun!_

Sanji collapsed on deck and lit a cigarette, exhausted.

"What was_ that_ all about?" Zoro asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

Sanji shrugged, then smirked. "Guess they just couldn't get enough of me."

"In your dreams, Love Cook." Zoro blocked Sanji's kick with his swords. Nami shook her head and rolled her eyes. Usopp told Chopper more about the "man-eating townspeople" with over-the-top gestures. Luffy watched the fight, content with his mouth full of tasty food.

Sanji kicked out at Zoro again.

_Next time I go shopping for Nami, I'm bringing Chopper._

-Owari-

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A/N: ummmm…My one-shot turned out to be 5 pages written (front and back)…which was a LOT more than I was expecting. 1664 words and 5 pages typed…I'm quite proud of this one-shot, mainly because it took me only one day to write, one to revise, and one to type.

As for OOCness…deal with it. It happens, especially on one's very first One Piece fanfic…^^;;

Please leave me a review! I greatly appreciate any and all reviews/flames/comments/presents given~! =)

~fightingcomet


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